In the middle of difficulty, liesOpportunity

"You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot keep Spring from coming." 

Albert Einstein once said, "In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity." I believe that. Do you?


The fact is that while I would never choose to have cancer, it has presented many opportunities for which I am very grateful. Isn't that something?

My motto has been and continues to be, "I have cancer, Cancer doesn't have me." What's that mean?, you ask. Well, it means that I try hard not to be defined by cancer. I try to live my life to the fullest.

In fact, in my way of thinking, every moment I spend worrying or fretting over having cancer is a moment where cancer wins this battle. It robs me of my joy for that length of time. I don't know how much time I have left here on this earth (none of us do). But, what I know is that I want to make the most of every moment that I'm here!

Cancer has allowed me the opportunity to finally concentrate on me, not on everyone else around me. I always worked a job or two and put 110% of myself into it. With family obligations taking up the remaining hours in the day, there was just never really any time left over for Donna.

But, having cancer allowed me to quit working. What a blessing that was, especially since my job had gone from good to very, very bad with changing regimes. Politics. Aren't they great? (NO!!!) For the first time in my adult life, I have had the time to do things that make me happy. And I have enjoyed that to the max!!!

You probably have already figured out what those things are that make me happy.

I'll just state right at the beginning, my joy comes from the Lord. He is the reason for my happiness. He is the reason I do not worry about dying or about having cancer. He is the reason I can enjoy all of the activities listed below. Without the peace I have from Him, none of the rest of this would be possible.

Agility

I love, love, love agility. I found this sport late in life. I had really only just gotten started in it when I found out I had cancer. Barney and I were trialing nearly every weekend and sometimes Cotton came along! (She got to come along more often then than now ... the one bad thing about this retirement stuff is that my income decreased by two-thirds. I have to be much more frugal than I used to be ... talk about a hard lesson!!)

Barney was then and is now a superb agility partner. That little dog has a huge heart. He will play with me, over and over and over again, until I can't go any longer. He tries so hard to please. Always, his goal is to make me happy. Because if mama is happy, everyone is happy! Seriously, he loves agility, but mostly he loves me and he wants to do what pleases me.

I was initially taught that running agility meant running alongside your dog, directing him or her to do whatever the next obstacle in the sequence was. Many venues require that you stay fairly close by your dog in order to direct him over the obstacles correctly. My venue of choice, NADAC, is a little different. It allows you to work away from your dog.

Running your dog with distance between you and him is a completely different way of handling. My personal belief is that it is more difficult to teach your dog to run without you right beside him. It is especially challenging when the dog has first been taught to work right beside you.

Barney and I are in the process of learning to work at a distance from one another. I practiced my new skills some at the Run As One trial over the Memorial Day weekend. The video above shows our runs from Sunday of the three day trial.

Practicing our newly learned skills at distance (we are still very new in the learning process) is only part of what made me smile at the Memorial Day trial. The other is that I had the stamina to go help set-up for the trial on Friday, run four runs on Saturday, return Sunday morning for three more runs, finish with three runs on Monday ... and stay to help tear down and load up all of the equipment. Previously, I had only tried to trial one day for fear of being too tired the following day. REmarkABLE!!! I am so blessed.

Gardening

I wish I had a dollar for every time Robert suggested I start a garden. I always refused. I was just not interested. Then, this spring, I changed my mind. I don't even know why I decided this was the year I wanted to plant tomatoes and cucumbers and squash and zucchini. We have watermelon and cantaloupe and bell peppers. And okra. And something that I no longer remember what it is!!! I can't wait for its fruit or vegetable to appear so I will know just what it is!!

I know nothing about gardening. Like a bull in a china cabinet, my typical way of doing things, I just started buying plants and putting them out in the ground. I STILL know nothing, but I am fortunate that my plants seem not to care all that much.

Here are some pictures I took this morning. I go out and look every single day. I take pictures at least a couple of times a week. Sometimes more often! The little fruits and vegetables are like my babies! I love watching them ... except for an impatient person like myself, it is also a bit of a challenge!

Now that the sun has begun shining again, the 'maters are ripening!

The herb garden. Yum!!!

Zucchini? Squash? Cucumbers? All of the above?

Squash ... some will be ready for picking very soon!

More tomatoes that will soon be ripe enough to pick and eat!

Yellow zucchini. The plant thrived while it rained daily. Not looking so good now.

The bell pepper!!! It will ultimately be a red pepper. There's only one on the bush!

Watermelon. This plant has not always looked as healthy.

My Meyer Lemon Tree. What fun!

Baby lemons!!

I am learning as I go. Next year, I hope I learn from some of my mistakes. I crowded things this year. They looked so small and so widely spaced when I first planted them. Do I hear you laughing???? If you have done much gardening, I am sure you are!

I have been reading that you should plant certain plants with one another ... and shouldn't combine others. Next year, I hope to have an organized plan! This year, I just walked down the rows at Lowe's and chose plants that would produce vegetables or fruit that I thought I might want to eat.

I gave away some of the first fruits of my labor. Carol got a bag with squash, zucchini, and a couple of tomatoes. I plucked a little tomato off of the vine yesterday morning as I was walking out of the backyard to the car. I gave that to Linda. I THINK I am going to have plenty to share. I hope so.

Photography

I guess it is pretty obvious from my blog that I enjoy photography! Having cancer has opened my eyes to all of the beauty that surrounds us. I love to take my camera and just explore the backyard. I NEED to take my camera and explore a little further away than my backyard!! But, for now, I have been content to wander through the yard and take pictures of dogs, flies, bees, flowers, fruits, and veggies ... and an occasional lizard. Hopefully, there will be no opportunities to snap a photo of a snake.

The pictures below were taken this morning. I originally grabbed the camera because I saw the bees inside the flowers of the squash plant. I thought they were certainly worth a few pictures!! As long as I was out there with the camera, I explored a bit more!

I love these delicate little flowers. No clue what they are.

Another little flower that I think is pretty. It is some wildflower that I planted. 

This plant and the one below speak to me. This little weed is growing out of the brick wall!

This petunia came from I don't know where. Like the little flower above, it is growing in a crack in the brick wall. Perseverance. At its best

That frog is lucky it is in the water. Cotton was VERY interested in it!

We have so many of these bugs. I don't know what they are, but they sure like my new garden.

Flies like the garden too. 

I love quotes. I love photography. On occasion, I try to combine the two. These are the bees that initially sent me running for the camera.

Other Interests

My calendar is usually very full. I don't like to have very many days when I don't have something to do. Currently, I have agility class twice on Tuesday and once on Friday. I may have to quit going to the Tuesday night class - it is more traditional agility (where you run right beside your dog) and I don't want to mess up what Barney and I are learning with our distance. We are going to be taking a break from our Friday class as well. It has just gotten too hot. So, for the summer, we will rely on practicing at the park at 7 AM rather than going to class at 10:30.

On days that I don't have agility, I love to meet my friends for lunch and/or the movies. I rarely ever saw a movie before I retired. But, since I have been retired, I have been lucky enough to go to quite a few.

Walks. Linda and I complain nearly every single morning when we meet about how we didn't want to come! We meet at 6:30 AM now that it has gotten so hot. We never want to get up. But, once we are at the park and walking, we're glad we made the effort. The dogs love their walks as well. And, it is so good for us! On days that I don't walk, I usually just waste the time that I would be spending getting some exercise. And, boy oh boy, do I need exercise!!

You should see my Kindle app. I have so many books on there just waiting on me to read them. I keep buying them for those times when I might not feel like doing the things I am doing now. I hope that day doesn't come for a long time. But, when it comes, I'm prepared!!!

Opportunity

So back to the title of this post. "In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity." Cancer is my difficulty. But, oh the opportunities it has brought with it! If I hadn't been diagnosed with cancer, I would still be plugging along at a job that I had grown to hate instead of enjoying every waking moment! There's just never enough time to get everything done that I want to do! Even now! But, now all of the moments are full of things that I love to do.

Hedonistic? I feel like maybe so. But, I also think that I deserve the bliss I am experiencing now. Not because I have cancer, but because I have worked so very hard all of my life. It is wonderful to have the OPPORTUNITY to work hard at having fun instead of at a job.

Pictures from the Backyard

When I was diagnosed with lung cancer, I had to quit doing my most favorite thing in the world - playing agility with my dogs. I simply didn't have the strength or the stamina for it. It broke my heart because when I quit doing agility, I also quit hearing much from the people I thought were my friends. Unfortunately, there are lots of things about cancer than cause pain besides tumors. Losing your friends, or those you considered friends but who turned out to be acquaintances, is one of the hardest. I've been fighting this battle for over 2-1/2 years and it still hurts.

But, that's not what this post is about. I quit doing agility, but I was determined to have something to do to occupy my thoughts. I refuse to dwell on the fact that I have lung cancer. I spent quite a lot of time in my backyard. It is a peaceful, happy place. I love it back there. I bought lots of pretty flowers and hung bird feeders.

The flowers brought color to my world and the birds that visited my feeders brought joy. I didn't have any energy, but it didn't take any to sit in the backyard and enjoy what God has created. In fact, spending time relaxing in all of the beauty rejuvenated me.

Pretty soon, I decided I wanted to capture the memories so I brought the camera out. With the help of an excellent photographer friend of mine from Midland, I practiced using the various settings on the camera. What I haven't learned - then or now - is how to use any of the software that allows you to REALLY enhance your work. I know I need to learn, but I always put it off. Chemo brain dissuades me from doing many things that require a great deal of learning and concentration.

I seem to be getting distracted a lot tonight. Tonight's post is titled "Pictures from the Backyard" and that's what I want to talk about!

Throughout my journey, I have snapped a lot of shots in my backyard. I am a prolific picture taker and I am not usually inclined to get rid of any of them! I have thousands and thousands of pictures. Don't start groaning! I don't intend to post them all here!

But, I took some today that I want to share because I enjoyed taking them and I enjoyed seeing them when I loaded them onto the computer. I hope you might enjoy them as well.

Abstract! I did this by spinning the lens while the shutter was open. I like it!

This is the flower that is in the center of the spin art above. It is a Dahlia.

This bud will ultimately open into a bloom like the one above. Beautiful!

Canna and Asiatic lilies -- bring joy to my life!

Close-up of the canna.

Asiatic lilies. They are gorgeous, but they really don't last very long. I enjoy them while they are blooming!

I take lots of pictures of the little lemons. They fascinate me!

A butterfly weed

Another butterfly weed

A close-up of the bud above. I love all of the teeny flowers!

A third butterfly weed. The three butterfly weed plants are supposed to attract monarch butterflies and give them a place to lay their eggs. Unfortunately, I have seen not one butterfly on the plants. Lots of flies and bees though. You'll see those later :)

A beautiful  dianthus bloom. Right after a rainstorm.

More dianthus. I love these little flowers that just keep on keeping on.

This picture and the one above are lemon tree blooms. You have missed a true blessing if you have never gotten to smell lemon tree blooms. They smell so good! And, they're beautiful, I think.

Close-up of a marigold. My marigolds have not enjoyed the torrential rains we have had lately.

Cool Shots

I love playing with the camera. The following shots are me playing. Just practicing and playing!

A raindrop about to fall)

Flies and bees love this flower.

Flies? Bees? Very lovely green color, whatever they are!

This flower is supposed to attract butterflies and bees. Instead, there are flies, flies, and more flies!

Same for these flowers. They are supposed to attract butterflies/hummers. Instead, I get flies and whatever the green bug is!

This butterfly just happened to fly up when I was outside taking pictures. Think he is pretty (in a dull sort of way) so I followed him from plant to plant taking his picture!