When we are diagnosed with lung cancer, it is almost always a shock. Whether it is caught early or late (the usual case), it is like a fist in the stomach to us - and everyone who loves us. It is important to put on your boxing gloves as soon as you can possibly recover from the shock and start fighting for yourself.
This was made all the more important to me just the other day. I was approached by someone in an online community who wanted to know about the treatment I receive. I have been in a clinical trial for nivolumab or Opdivo, an immunotherapy, for over two years now. Word is getting out about immunotherapy and the hope it offers many of us with late stage lung cancer.
This woman was 61, the mother of a seven-year-old and a six-year-old German shepherd. She had Stage IV lung cancer. She was given one infusion of chemotherapy, which made her very, very sick. Her oncologist told her she was not a candidate for chemo so she needed to just go home, get her affairs in order, and prepare to die.
When I met her online, she had rehomed her dog and was taking her daughter to relatives to live during that week. She had completely followed her doctor's advice. She was simply preparing to die. It broke my heart. And, it made me angry.
Why would an oncologist give up so easily on a patient? And, more to the point, why would a patient give up that quickly?
So, how does a lung cancer survivor best advocate for themselves? Here are some ways that I have personally advocated for myself. Maybe some of them will help you, as well.
Never take no, or inaction (a form of "no"), as the final answer. Keep fighting. Your life is most important to YOU! Don't give up. If one doctor tells you to give up, find another. Until you take your last breath, keep fighting.
Research your doctor. What do others say about him? Where was he educated? Is he interested in research? Is he with a private practice or a university hospital?
Not all treatment facilities are created equally. The US News and World Report publishes a list of best hospitals every year. The National Cancer Institute designates certain hospitals that have been proven to deliver cutting-edge cancer treatments to patients.
You know your body best. If something doesn't seem right, make sure your doctor knows. And takes it seriously.
My oncologist, somewhat jokingly, tells people that he works for me. But, in the end, that's the truth. He does. If, at any moment I decide he is not doing an adequate job for me, I can fire him. I have no contract with him. I do not have to continue trusting my life to him if he loses my faith. The same is true for you in your relationship with your doctor(s). If you do not trust them with your life, because they indeed hold your life in their hands, fire them. Find one you trust completely.
Conduct your own research. Look at respected sites, such as LUNGevity, American Association for Cancer Research, Bonnie Addario Lung Cancer Foundation, American Cancer Society, American Lung Association, Free to Breathe, the National Institutes of Health (NIH), etc. Make sure that you can differentiate between someone's opinion and vetted study results. There are lots of people out there who espouse quick cancer cures, but I personally am going to trust my life to clinical trials and to doctors who have invested a great deal of time and money in learning how to treat my cancer. If you are aware of what is out there, you can advocate for yourself. Unfortunately, not every doctor is right on top of what the latest treatments are.
Join support communities (in-person or online or both). It means a lot to spend some time with others who "have been there, done that." Most of us realize that the general public simply does not understand what it is like to be diagnosed with cancer. I think being diagnosed with lung cancer, the most stigmatized of all cancers, makes the misunderstanding by others even greater.
One organization I have associated with is LUNGevity. It is dedicated to funding research for lung cancer and to providing HOPE to all lung cancer survivors. If you want to spend time with others who have lung cancer and exude HOPE, get involved with LUNGevity!
Spend some time spreading the truth among your friends and acquaintances! Unlike what the general public, and unfortunately, even many doctors, believe, lung cancer doesn't just happen to smokers. It doesn't matter if you smoke or don't, are white or black, male or female, young or old, skinny or fat. Lung cancer happens to people with lungs.
Try to maintain as normal a life as you can. Eat as healthily as possible. Drink plenty of water. Exercise as much as you are able. I walked my two dogs every day during chemo. Sometimes, I could only manage a couple of blocks, but we got out and walked. Smile, even if you don't feel it. Watch happy movies and laugh. Cancer is an awful disease and none of us want it. But, it doesn't have to consume your every thinking moment. And, it shouldn't.
Start a binder or a file where you keep important test results and CD's of all of your scans. Make lists of questions you have for your doctor so you don't forget when you get into his or her office. It sometimes also helps to take along a friend of family member to doctor visits. Two sets of ears are nearly always better than just one, especially if you receive some shocking news during the appointment.
It is hard enough to be diagnosed with cancer. But, when you are diagnosed with lung cancer, it is a double whammy. The stigma that associates with lung cancer can make people look down on you or discount the importance of your disease and your fight.
Keep your head up. Whether or not you smoke or smoked, lung cancer is a formidable foe. And, no one deserves to die from lung cancer; no one deserves to be looked down upon because of lung cancer. Don't be ashamed.
And remember, there is hope. Always, there is HOPE!!
Six years ago, on February 7th, my boy Barney was born. He came home to live with us on April 1, 2010. He has been a delight since the day he came into my life.
Such a cute little fellow!! Well, I thought so, but not everyone did. My mom came over shortly after I got him. Her first words were something like, "That's the ugliest little dog I think I have ever seen." You decide ...
You're a little fellow ... will you be staying?
Hi Fluffy! Can we be friends?
Can I play with you, Cotton?
He may not have been the most adorable puppy, but he had so much personality! He has always made me laugh.
I fretted over a name for my puppy. I leaned toward Magic. It is a name that would have been appropriate in so many ways - he's been magical for me. But, my husband wasn't impressed with that name.
Is this a nice "sit?"
Finally, a friend came by and started listing a bunch of name possibilities. When she hit on "Barney," a light came on. My mind went to Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith show ... and my gangly, funny little puppy seemed like a perfect match to that name. So, he became Barney.
This dog has been a perfect match to me. He's a happy soul. If we're lying on the couch, he's right there with me, happy just to be near. If we're going for a walk, he's ready and excited to go. And, if we walk onto the agility field, my little man is an anxious performer.
Just three weeks after I brought him home, our grandchildren came to live with us for several months. On top of my regular responsibilities, I now had a 10-month old, a 3-year-old, and a 7-year-old to raise ... and a little puppy to try to train... When I wasn't at work... Or cooking. Or cleaning...
He was as happy as could be to have Fluffy the cat, Cotton (his temperamental sister), and the three human children to play with. To this day, he loves it when the children come to visit. But, he didn't get nearly as much attention and training as he would have or that I planned during his earliest months.
Some dogs might have suffered from that lack of training, but not my Barney. When he was finally able to begin pre-agility classes (after the children returned home), he was a super star.
He is such a stable boy. Rain, thunder and lightning don't bother him in the least. I can think of little that bothers him, except sharing me with any animal other than his sister.
He was nearly three when I was diagnosed with cancer. We were on a roll in agility when I learned I was sick. This little boy was doing amazing things - he's always been such a steady little partner. The only question I really had for my oncologist after learning I was sick was whether I could continue running agility with my Barney.
We had to quit agility classes because I was either too sick or too exhausted to go. But, we continued to try to go to trials as we could. And, he never let me down.
Looking back at the spreadsheet where I keep track of our trial experiences, there are only one or two times when I felt like we just didn't connect as a team. For the most part, he gave his all.
Here are some of his latest runs. I am so proud of where he is. Where we are as a team.
Exercise is said to be good for chemo brain and for fighting cancer. Learning the courses stretches my mind. I love being around all of my friends and their dogs. It brings me great joy. I would be willing to bet that my agility addiction has helped keep me healthy.
But, while agility plays a big part in my life and the lives of my dogs, it isn't everything! Really! It isn't!
My heart just swells when my boy lays his head on my legs when we're sitting on the couch or when he gets on the back of the couch and hangs his leg over so that it touches me or lays on my chest and sleeps with me there.
My favorite memory of all of my boy is the one where he came and laid on my chest for hours soon after I was diagnosed. Of course it is silly, but I felt like I could feel the tumors being pulled right out of me by his body heat. I was so, so sick, but his love and devotion comforted me more than I can say.
Happy birthday, precious boy! May we have many, many more together!
So ... since I have had cancer, I have developed all kinds of new interests, or spent time trying to perfect (this is a strong word, but I can't think of the one I need ... thanks, Chemo Brain!) skills I already have. One of the new interests is gardening. And, one of the plants I added to my garden last spring was a lemon tree.
I have never tried to grow a fruit tree before, but some of my friends would post annual pictures of their lemon crops. I always wished I had a lemon tree, too. So, finally, in the spring of 2015, I ran across a nice tree at Walmart and brought it home. Its blossoms smelled like heaven.
It wasn't very long before some of the blossoms fell off. In their place were teeny, tiny little green lemons!! So cute. I couldn't imagine that those tiny little things would actually mature into something edible!
I enjoyed my tree all season long. I took pictures frequently as the blossoms and fruits progressed!
Butterflies and bees loved the blossoms as much as I did!
Close-up of the tiny little lemon!
The scent is like heaven. I think the blossoms are very pretty, too.
Waiting and watching fruit mature is a lesson in patience. I'm not particularly patient, to say the least, so it was a good lesson for me. There was nothing I could do to rush the progress. All I could do was wait, photograph, and watch! The little fruit appeared in April or May. A friend who had lemon trees told me that I would have mature fruit in October or so.
Sure enough! By October, my little fruit had grown into lemons like you find in the grocery store!! I was so excited! I know this must seem odd to people who garden ... but, until last year, I never tried to grow anything. If it wasn't on the grocery shelf, it didn't come to our house.
By November, my little lemon tree was loaded down with big, juicy lemons. And, after waiting for them for so long, I couldn't bring myself to pick them. Any of them.
Lemon trees cannot withstand cold temperatures. In mid-November, I decided I better bring mine into the house. Lemons and all.
You can't tell by the pictures, but the tree is planted in a very large pot. The tree itself was not real tiny when I bought it. Because we had such a lovely (and rainy) spring, it grew by leaps and bounds. Getting it out of the yard and into the house was not an easy task! Especially with fruit hanging off of it!
But, we managed to get it indoors. Every day, I looked at that tree just loaded down with fruit. I kept waiting on the lemons to drop off on their own or to look shriveled and spoiled. But, they didn't. In fact, I think they just kept on getting bigger and bigger!
Once, when my grandkids were here, we picked a couple. We ate one. It was good. We just left the other one on the table until it spoiled... Then, it was used in the disposal to make the house smell citrus-y!
In the end, and over a few months, we picked a few lemons, but we mostly left them on the tree. Finally, yesterday, January 17, 2016, I decided I should pluck the lemons off of the tree. The poor tree was trying to bloom to make more lemons. It wasn't really fair to expect it to flower while still bearing fruit from the last season. Besides, I figured, it would not be nearly as productive if I didn't remove its fruit burden from the previous year first.
Of the lemons I finally plucked, only one was no good. It had rested for too long against a branch of the tree, I think. It got cut up and put down the disposal.
So. Now I have a load of lemons. I don't want them to go bad. But, I'm feeling too tired to really want to do anything with them. (This exhaustion often hits when I need to cook. I don't enjoy cooking. If I had been offered an activity I love to do, my exhaustion would have quickly abated.)
The lemons sat on the table all day. I took pictures of them. And left them sitting.
Before we ate dinner, Robert asked when the lemon pie was going to be ready. My family kept waiting on those lemons to be picked so that we could enjoy some fresh lemon pie. That's probably why I kept leaving them on the tree ... I didn't want to make a lemon pie! That's unnecessary cooking! :)
(I am the worst housekeeper and cook you'll find. I LOVE to be active, but I don't enjoy cooking and I don't enjoy cleaning. And, I try to avoid doing either one as much as I possibly can. I wish it wasn't so, but it just is.)
I started feeling guilty. We all love lemon pie. We've all watched those lemons go from flowers to tiny little green orbs to real, live, big lemons. We've all thought about how good a lemon pie would be made from those home-grown lemons...
BIG SIGH. Okay! I looked up the recipe. Took several tries to find the one that sounded familiar (it has been years since I last made a lemon pie). The recipe I use uses corn starch. Great. I know I have some. But where?
Here I am. Not in the mood to make a pie in the first place. Looking everywhere for the corn starch. It isn't anywhere that I think it should be. But, admittedly, my pantry has become a bit disarrayed. Okay, a lot disarrayed.
I was just about to decide I was going to have to go to the grocery store to get corn starch when I finally found the brand new, unopened box. (It was probably bought in 2012, but it was there waiting on me!)
I haven't made a pie in a long time. I guess I overbeat the egg whites. We got those little droplets on top of the meringue that you get sometimes. I did beat them until they were REALLY stiff!!! I sort of combined two recipes to make the pie. I started with one that was on my phone and ended with one on the back of the corn starch box. It worked out okay.
Taking that first bite! So exciting!
Yum!!! Pretty good stuff!
Well ... despite my not wanting to make a pie, we sure enjoyed those slices we ate last night. I've been dreaming of having another slice today! It was slightly warm when we finally could wait no longer last night. Today, it should be nice and chilled.
So. There's a lesson here. Of course.
Lemons are awfully sour. Even these Myer lemons that are not supposed to be so sour. Most people don't like to just sit down and eat a lemon the way you do an orange or a banana.
But, with a bit of sugar and a bit of fire added, the lemon becomes a sweet and delectable custard.
Like us. Hopefully. We go through the fire and hopefully we come out a better person as a result. Cancer is a fire, for sure. Do we let it consume us or mold us? The choice is ours.
That brings me to the following...
A good friend posted me yesterday with a link to a sermon she'd been listening to. She said it reminded her of me. I couldn't wait to listen.
We often don't understand why. Why did we lose everything in a fire or a tornado or an earthquake? Why did we get cancer? Or have a heart attack?
WE don't know. But God does. And, for me, that's all I have to know. HE has it under control. My job is to just continue living for as long as I have breath. My job is to turn those lemons into lemon pie!
Since I began the clinical trial for Opdivo back in July 2013, my life was returned to me. While I was on chemo, there were quite a few days when I wondered if the fight against lung cancer was really worth it.
Chemo made me so violently ill that I can remember being curled up on the bed with my Sheltie Barney wondering how in the world I could endure an existence that put me in such misery, time after time. I began to think that if this is what life is going to be like, let me off of this train sooner rather than later.
With chemo, I would feel good for a day or so after treatment (thank you, steroids!), but then the nausea and vomiting and fatigue would set in. For two or three days, I could get out of bed or off of the couch only to go throw up. I couldn't eat or drink. It took every ounce of willpower and strength to walk 10 feet into the kitchen.
I couldn't live. I could only exist ... and it wasn't a pleasant existence.
Fortunately, those horrid days lasted for less than a week. By the second week after a chemo infusion, I was feeling much better. I could eat and drink again. I could make myself live a somewhat normal life. By week three, just in time to go back for another infusion and begin the process all over again, I felt pretty good.
For the first infusions, I was able to keep my spirits high. I could look at the bright side and focus on what I could do, rather than on what I couldn't. But, the longer the process went on, the harder it was becoming not to get depressed during that third week. I was knowingly getting ready to submit again to a treatment that was going to totally knock the wind out of my sails. Is that insanity, I wondered? Everyone knows Stage IV lung cancer patients don't live long, I thought, so why was I making myself so miserable for at least a third of the time I had left on this earth?
Chemo treatments went on for about six or seven months. Finally, my doctor said we would take a break from treatments. He hoped the tumors would remain stable, but they didn't. The minute we stopped treatments, they started growing. All of the headway we had made with the chemo was lost.
That's when my doctor asked me if I wanted to begin a new regimen of chemo or start a clinical trial. The chemo was expected to be less effective while making me sicker. Ugh. No thanks. Clinical trial, here I come!
I didn't expect the clinical trial to do anything for me. I expected to be a test subject so that decisions could be made for future cancer fighters.
I could not have been more wrong! From the moment I started the trial, I started feeling better. And my tumors were stopped in their tracks. And, now, 2-1/2 years later, my tumors are still stable and I still feel great!
So, I thought some of those reading this blog might get a little bit of hope from reading about my week last week. I think you will agree that it does not sound like a week in the life of a typical stage IV lung cancer survivor. The good and surprising news is that many other Stage IV lung cancer thrivers DO have similar weeks! Guys, there is HOPE ... and lots of it!!
Fun, Fun, and more Fun!
It has taken me awhile to get this blog written. The reason? I've been too busy to sit down and write it! Don't you think that's a good thing?
The week I sat down to write about started with a Run As One agility trial. In order to have a trial, the barn has to be readied. Linda Lelak and I both start trial weekend on Friday afternoons, helping with set-up. It requires the lugging of equipment from place to place. By the time these pictures were taken, we were nearly finished emptying the stall where everything was stored and carrying it out to the barn.
Since the dogs came to the trial on separate days, we took the opportunity for a photo shoot on Friday after we got things set up!
Saturday and Sunday - 4 days compressed into 2
Cotton got to play on Saturday; Barney on Sunday. They both had a lot of fun! Barney finally earned his last Open Touch N Go title, so he'll start in Elite at the next trial. We've been chasing that title for about two years so I was really excited when we had a clean run!
Here is Barney's Touch N Go run. He had a good day. He was oh-so-slightly too slow (he missed making time by less than half a second) in Tunnelers to earn a qualifying score, but he qualified in Touch N Go and in his Regular run.
Cotton wasn't quite as successful! She DID succeed in having a great time, though. And, in all honesty, that's what it is all about. Just to be fair, here's one of her runs. You can see that she runs very happy!
But, this is not so much about agility as it is a chronicle of my week. So, let's move on.
Saturday, November 14th, was a busy date. As I mentioned, I ran Cotton in agility during the day. For the evening, there were three possibilities for activities.
First, American Cancer Society wanted me to speak at a semi-formal fundraising event they were hosting. I frantically looked for a way to get a cocktail outfit without spending a lot of money. I run dogs in barns; I rarely attend events where fancy clothes are necessary. My friends really came through with offers for help. It was heartwarming.
About the time I figured out what I was going to wear, I got an email saying that the event had to be canceled due to lack of ticket sales. I was sad on the one hand ... and breathed a sigh of relief on the other. I hated that the event was so poorly supported that it had to be canceled.
I had barely relaxed from having that event canceled when I got a note from my doctor's office wanting to know if I could attend a Dallas Stars hockey game on Saturday night. I was excited to get the offer to participate with Chris Draft's Team Draft Foundation, mainly because a good friend and fellow lung cancer survivor was going to be there.
Now, there is another outfit dilemma. I have no Stars jersey to wear. And, once again, I don't want to spend $50 to $100 (or more) getting one!
Just about the time we decided we would just bite the bullet and get something, I got yet another email saying the event was canceled for Saturday night and would be rescheduled. Ahhh, Saturday night is going to be a night of relaxation after all.
Oh wait! Here comes an invitation to a good agility friend's birthday party - chips and salsa and nachos ... This event did not get canceled! It was a lot of fun to see everyone. I am the only one of that particular crowd who runs NADAC agility. The others run in AKC and/or USDAA, two venues I eschewed after my cancer diagnosis, so it is like a reunion when we get together for a meal.
I came home from the party and did a quick load of laundry (quick = about 2 hours) and crashed so that I could get up before daylight on Sunday.
While I ran four runs on Saturday with Cotton, I only ran three with Barney on Sunday. I knew that I had another obligation to meet on Sunday night and I was afraid there wasn't time for more runs.
On Sunday night, I had to be in Dallas by 5 PM for a Free to Breathe meeting. This is a foundation that was started by Dr. Joan Schiller, currently the head of oncology at UTSW, and a lung cancer expert. Like LUNGevity, they host a 5K walk to raise money for research.
They also do other events. I had previously worked at one of their tables at a Dallas Stars game doing lung cancer awareness. I've tried to determine the major differences between LUNGevity and Free to Breathe. From my own perspective, they both do great work raising funds for research. LUNGevity is also focused very much on lung cancer survivors. They are all about offering HOPE to those of us fighting the disease. They do a wonderful job of it.
Sherry and I have HOPE ... and lots of it!
Free to Breathe, I have decided, has a primary focus, besides raising funds for research, of increasing awareness about lung cancer. You will find them at health fairs and other events.
I'm happy to be involved with both organizations because I believe offering survivors and thrivers (a term I learned from Free to Breathe and that I absolutely love) hope and information is incredibly important. Lots of us are living still. Our prognosis is not as dark as it was. This is vitally important information for people with lung cancer. Don't give up. Never give up.
But, I believe it is equally as important to get the word out to the masses that lung cancer attacks more people than any other cancer besides breast. It kills more than breast, prostate, and colon cancers combined. There are two reasons why I believe lung cancer is so deadly:
1. people believe it is a smokers' only disease, which couldn't be further from the truth and 2. it is usually without symptoms until it has advanced to stage 3 or 4.
I had a lot of fun meeting everyone at the Free to Breathe event. I hope I will have a lot of opportunities to work with them ... as well as with LUNGevity.
Monday
I kept thinking that cramming four days into two over the weekend would not be a problem because I would just rest while I was at chemo. Chemo day (a misnomer, really, because I don't get chemo, I get immunotherapy ... but both require an infusion and it is just easier to call it chemo day!) is usually a long day. It begins with a blood draw. Then, I wait an hour or so while the blood is read. Then, I have a visit with my favorite oncologist in the world. He orders the immunotherapy. It takes an hour or so for the pharmacy to get the life-saving concoction put together. Then, the infusion begins. The drip only takes an hour. Still, even if everything is running like clockwork, which it doesn't always, I am there for a minimum of 3.5 hours. Usually, it is more like four or five hours.
I love most everyone at UTSW so the time goes pretty fast. Nevertheless, it is a long day. I do not usually rest. Monday was no exception!
Tuesday
I actually had nothing to do on Tuesday. I usually have agility practice, but instead, we had rain. As much as I love my agility lessons, I was happy to have a day off. I did very little besides rest.
Wednesday
On Wednesday, I met a couple of friends for a movie and a late lunch. I never went to the movies until I met Anna. Now, I go at least once a month and often two or three times a month! It is a nice way to lose yourself in a world that doesn't usually include cancer.
Thursday
Thursday was an exciting day! I say frequently that having cancer has opened many doors for me that would have never opened otherwise. I can't exactly be happy that I have cancer, but I can tell you that I am enjoying my life. A lot.
So, Thursday is usually an agility training day so it is always a day I enjoy. But, this Thursday, was something different. Robert and I went back to UTSW, this time to do an interview with WFAA, Channel 8 news.
It just so happened that the interview took place on the day of the Great American Smokeout. So, instead of being on the news once, I should end up being featured twice.
It is with mixed emotions that I was part of the feature above. I surely want people to know that they can and should quit smoking. But, I don't want anyone to get the mistaken idea that only smokers get lung cancer. Because nothing is further from the truth and way too many people die because they think they are immune.
It only takes lungs to get lung cancer. That's it.
We are anticipating that another segment will be aired on November 30, during the 4 PM news. I guess I will probably not see it live as I will be having chemo again. It would be highly unusual for me to make it home by 4, especially on a Monday after a long Thanksgiving holiday. Thank goodness for DVRs!
I had so much fun doing the interview. I love my doctor. I love the nurses and aides. It was especially fun that some of them got to be on TV, too! Sonia, the health reporter, was so nice. I felt like we were old friends! And, finally, I had an interview where my mouth didn't get dry and I didn't experience a moment of nervousness. Yes!!!!
RW and Kim had come in from New Mexico on Wednesday. They came over to watch the news story with us. Mom came too. Afterwards, Mom took us out to the Goldmine for dinner. It was a really fun day.
Friday
On Friday, Linda and I had agility class. We always have so much fun. Both Barney and Louie did an excellent job getting great distance and following our directions. I love to trial, but I love class even more.
After class, RW and Kim came over to help me clean house a bit before we went after Jimmy and Jonah. The kids are spending a little over a week with their dad ... and were they excited!!!
Grandma ... not the camera AGAIN!!
It is always great fun to have the kids, but it does turn our quiet existence a bit topsy-turvy! The boys have a lot of energy!! And, especially when they first arrive, a lot to say!
Saturday
On Saturday, we had a great time. Linda, Mom, and I were signed up to work a Lung Cancer Awareness table for Free to Breathe at a Stars ice skating rink in Plano. Genentech was sponsoring a Free Skate for kids and adults as part of the awareness event. So, we all loaded up and headed to the Dr. Pepper StarCenter in Plano.
Neither the kids nor the dad had ever been ice-skating before. They did really well. By the end of the Free Skate, Jonah was skating on his own. Jimmy took off on his own from the start.
We all had a wonderful time. At the Awareness table, we got lots of interest and gave away many blue (LUNGevity) and white (Free to Breathe) bracelets. A few people took more information.
Sunday
On Sunday, I totally forgot that I am no longer young and did something I haven't done in years. I got up at 1:30 AM to get ready to go to a dog agility trial in Oklahoma with Ed and Linda and five dogs (three border collies, a Sheltie, and a Pom/Eskie). I picked Linda up at 2:15 and we headed to Ed's. Because there wasn't much traffic, we arrived in record time! The house was dark and quiet!
Linda and I, like teenagers, were outside with the dogs, trying to be quiet, but also having fun. She shined the flashlight into the porta-potty so I could see and then we used the flashlight to take the dogs through weave poles. This, my friends, is what they call "agility addicts."
We were on the road to Norman, OK by 3:30. We laughed and talked, talked and laughed ... and had a great time! This trial was done "beta" style, which means you run the same course twice. While we had a great time, Barney and I didn't manage to have a qualifying score. I had a few chemo brain moments (I get to blame things on chemo brain ... it could also have been called "senior moment") during our runs that cost us. Barney, on the other hand, had some pretty runs!
This run was Regular 1. Barney had a beautiful run. If only his Mom hadn't forgotten a jump, it would have been one of the nicest runs we've had. Where was my head??? On the second time through the exact same course, I managed to include the jump, but Barney thought I really wanted him to do the dogwalk instead of the tunnel at the discrimination. We argued about it for a bit...
What a fun, fun day. We arrived back to Ed's by 5 or so.
Sum it Up
So ... while this week may have been a bit more active and filled with more unusual activities than normal, I managed to do it all. And, keep in mind, chemo (immunotherapy) was part of the week. Had I still been getting chemotherapy, most of the activities described here would have had to be put on hold. But, with immunotherapy, and the way I personally react to it, I had a very, very full week.
Here's what I want to leave you with. Getting a stage IV lung cancer diagnosis can be devastating. But, it isn't the end of the world. There is HOPE. There is more and more hope every single day as researchers find more and better ways to treat our cancer.
It's November. Nearly. It will be in just a few hours. So, finally, Pinktober ends. And Lung Cancer Awareness month begins. I'm afraid we won't see a flood of white ribbons everywhere. For the most part, people just don't really care about lung cancer. Which seems pretty weird to me since so many people will someday get that diagnosis themselves (or watch a loved one go through it).
Sooooooo, this is a month when I will once again flood my Facebook account with information about lung cancer. The general public may be ill-informed, but I can assure you, my friends should be well aware that the only thing it takes to get lung cancer is lungs.
It seems that every year I find ways to get a little more involved in awareness and advocacy. And, I'm really enjoying the role. I'm finding myself seeking out more and more ways to get the word out, besides what I do on Facebook. I think what I do on Facebook is not all that effective. Most people, I think, just scroll past my posts that have to do with cancer.
The month and Lung Cancer Awareness begins with a walk at River Legacy Park in Arlington, TX, on November 1. It was a cool and cloudy day. There wasn't as large a crowd as I would have liked to see, but the ones who were there had a great time, I think.
Of course, the event was organized to raise money for lung cancer research. The goal for the event was only $45,000. But, we didn't meet that. Not even close. We were able to raise a mere $23,712.95. Who gave 95 cents???
I don't know how hard everyone else tried to get their friends and colleagues to donate. I worked hard for the $1,420 I finally managed to raise. I even enlisted the help of Cotton and Barney, thinking maybe they could reach my dog friends when I couldn't. Didn't work. No one even bothered to watch their video.
I got my feelings hurt when people didn't respond to my pleas. I took it very personally. On the other hand, I was beyond touched by donations I got. They were mostly given by people I really didn't expect to contribute. Just as NOT getting donations from people I thought would support me broke my heart, the contributions I got put a big smile on my face and song in my heart. Truly.
I can honestly say, I'm glad the fundraising is over with for awhile! I am obviously not very good at it and it puts me on too many ups and downs.
So, with that said, the event was a lot of fun. There were bounce houses, a DJ, lots of picture taking, and some dancing! Oh yeah! And a 1.2 mile walk or 5K run.
Lung cancer survivors, supporters and caregivers KNOW how to have some fun!!!
It is hard to believe that I only met the ladies in the picture below at last year's event:
How I love them. Sherry (in the middle) is young and was athletic. Not a smoker. She's missing part of a lung. The two of us started the team for this year. We named it Hope & Giggles because we have a ton of hope and we love, love, love to laugh and giggle! Her mom, Susan, in the blue shirt, is one of the best supporters ever.
Gail is a 27-year survivor of cancer. She's had breast, thyroid and lung cancer during those years. You'll never met a person with more heart or joy for life.
It was wonderful to see them at the event again this year. If you look closely, you'll see Katie Brown photobombing Susan, Sherry, and Gail! Katie is responsible for the fact that there is a walk. She began them after her dad passed away from lung cancer. We lung cancer survivors are especially lucky to have her in our corner. She is a tireless worker and advocate.
My friends, Cathy and Courtney Kuebler, joined us on the walk. It meant the world to me that they were willing to give up their Sunday to come to Arlington (not a short trip for either) and spend it on the walk with me. They are beautiful inside and out and I am so proud to call them friends.
My mom decided that she wanted to support me with her presence. She asked me if I thought she could make the walk. Well, I honestly didn't know for sure, but figured we could give it a try. If she found she couldn't make it, we'd figure out how to get her back to the car.
Mom hates this picture. She thinks it makes her look likes she's 105. I don't think so. I think she looks beautiful and younger than her 85 years.
She enjoyed coming and meeting all of my friends. And yes, she made that 1.2 mile walk with no problems at all!
Smiles. Smiles Everywhere.
You know, when I was first diagnosed with lung cancer, I didn't think I wanted to be around others with cancer. I've never been particularly depressed or sad or down-trodden by my diagnosis, but I assumed I was an exception. I've found out that I was wrong. Way wrong.
Sherry and I pretended we had run the course and won!! (We HAD finished the 1.2 mile walk, but we pretended we had done more!) Notice the smiles. They're not fake or contrived. These are two lung cancer survivors living and loving life.
Gail (27 years), Donna (3 years), Tom(11 years), Sherry (1 year), and Susan ... 4 survivors and an awesome mom. Plenty of smiles!
This picture was taken by Katie or Hunter Brown of some of the cancer survivors who came to the walk. We are loving life and one another.
As The Month Progresses
I will be trying to find ways to get the word out that lung cancer hits people with lungs, not just smokers.
On November 7, there is a workshop/conference for lung cancer survivors that some of my friends and I will be attending. It is a great time to get together and possibly we'll find new ways to get involved while we're there.
On November 21, I'll be at the Dr Pepper Starcenter in Plano at a Free Skate. I really don't know much about the whole thing just yet, but I'll be handing out literature and talking to others about lung cancer.
If I can get myself in gear, I'll try to write some letters to the editor or articles for online publications or something. I have a blog to write this week for another group. It is to deal with advocating for yourself. Maybe it will get my creative juices flowing!!! :)
So ... here we go ... I hope I don't lose any friends over my advocacy this month. I guess if anyone unfriends me, they weren't friends to start with.
