Today is World Cancer Day

Did you see the Super Bowl Commercial that Chevrolet ran? They will donate $1 to the American Cancer Society for every person who goes purple on Facebook or Twitter today. Do it, please!!! It will only take a moment of your time and your dollar combined with those of thousands of others can really make a difference. http://www.chevrolet.com/purple-roads-world-cancer-day.html

The Chevy commercial really touched me. This woman is facing a cancer diagnosis ... and her husband is sharing in the pain. There are lots of diagnoses that would be heartbreaking to receive. The one I identify with is cancer. I think I will never forget the moment I learned I had lung cancer.

I was fairly certain by that point that I had cancer, though no one but me had ever uttered such a word in connection with the tests I was having. I was so hopeful that it would be nearly any kind of cancer but lung cancer. My dad died of lung cancer only six months of being diagnosed, despite a valiant effort to fight it. The stats for surviving lung cancer are just not good.

Of course, anyone who knows me or who follows this blog knows I didn't get my wish granted. I not only had lung cancer, I had Stage IV lung cancer that was inoperable. Radiation also wasn't an option. Chemotherapy was the only hope I was given. And the doctor wasn't all that confident it would prolong my life appreciably.

How do you describe the emotions you go through when you learn that your life may be nearly over? Just when life was kind of coming together. I was so involved. I had so many more friends and activities to pursue than I had for most of my adult life. I was having fun ... no ... F-U-N!!! Literally, the time of my life!

Cancer wasn't in the plans. At all. I had quit smoking five or six years previously. I was physically active. I ate decent. Cancer was for someone else, not me.

Things move quickly after you're diagnosed with cancer. You face it bravely, but you're still scared. And once you get that diagnosis, the fact that you have cancer sort of defines who you are from then on. Or, that's the case with me. It never leaves the forefront of my mind that I have cancer. I don't mean to say that it especially limits what I do because I try hard to make sure that isn't the case, but I still never really forget that I am in the fight of my life against a mighty foe. And I never forget that God is Good and He is Powerful. And by His grace, I'm still here and I still feel good and I am still able to do a whole lot of what I was able to do prior to that terrible day that I learned I had lung cancer.

When I watch the commercial, I imagine that the woman has learned recently that she has cancer. Maybe they are on their way to her first treatment or to tell her parents or kids that she's received a deadly diagnosis. So many difficult moments accompany the news that you have become a cancer statistic. You have to figure out the new road you're going to walk whether you want to or not ... and you wonder just exactly what it is going to entail. Talk about fear of the unknown!!

Is it going to hurt? Will I be deathly ill for my remaining days on this earth? What's going to happen to my family, to my dogs? Will my friends disappear? Will people be too uncomfortable to be around me? Will I be too uncomfortable to be around them? Will I lose my hair? Will I become a skeleton? What's it going to be like to face a deadly opponent? What does chemo feel like?

Here are some answers to those questions:

1. Lung cancer doesn't hurt. That's a problem with it. You have no clue you have it until it is so far gone that your chances of survival are greatly diminished.
2. Some of your friends do fall by the wayside, but others are right there for you every step of the way. You mourn the ones you "lost" and celebrate the ones who are strong enough and care enough to stick around.
3. I was lucky! My hair got thinner, but I didn't lose it. I purchased a wig and hats and all of the rest but by God's grace, I didn't have to use them. I'm really happy I didn't lose my hair - that would have been difficult. But it surely wouldn't have been the end of the world. I see some women who wear their bald heads with such pride ... my heart just swells with love when I see it.
4. I surely didn't become a skeleton. It never has seemed fair that I can go through chemo treatment after chemo treatment and still be bigger than ever before. But, I'd rather be a little chubby than way too thin. I don't look sick and I don't feel sick. 
5. Chemo doesn't hurt or burn or anything. It is boring ... the first treatments I got took 3-4 hours to administer. The ones I get now drip for an hour. Ho-hum. The after-effects can be awful though. I can't describe the fatigue or the nausea that accompanied my first chemo treatments. I think you have to experience them to understand them. I've tried to face this battle with good humor, but I have to say that I was starting to get quite depressed when I was on the first two courses of treatment. You would have chemo, be sick-sick-sick, and finally start to feel better just about the same time as it was time to go again for another treatment.

Every single day when I wake up, I praise God that I'm still here! I still feel good. I can still enjoy the activities I did before I was diagnosed with cancer.

Below is a video that was shot yesterday of my Sheltie, Barney, and I trying our luck at a NADAC Chances run. We did not earn a qualifying score (LOL, to say the least!!!), but we WERE successful! We were outside together with friends and we had a ton of fun. A far cry from the video above where the woman is looking out the window with so many fears and so much sadness.

I am fully aware that any day my cancer may take off and kill me quickly. I think that knowledge makes me enjoy each and every day far more than I would if my body hadn't been invaded by "evil cells." I try hard not to sweat the small stuff ... or even the big stuff. 

On the other hand, I tend NOT to make plans for too far into the future. There's a Gaither concert over the Memorial Day weekend that I would love to attend in Tennessee but I have been hesitant to get tickets ... it is a lot of money to spend if it turns out I am no longer able to make a trip like that. 

Here's the thing, though. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Car wrecks, heart attacks, the flu ... none of us know what tomorrow holds for us. A cancer diagnosis might make that fact a little more real, but ALL of us should live life as if tomorrow may not come. Be happy. Be strong. Live!