Flower of Hope

I never bothered with flowers or anything when I worked - there wasn't time. I was way too involved in agility and other activities to want to mess with flowers. I liked what other people had, but they were just too much work for me.

But, when I retired, I had more time. A lot more time. I needed something to fill my days with joy so I started filling pots with flowers. And, I found that those flowers brought me great joy. I would get up early and go sit out in the backyard and enjoy the gorgeous flowers and the serenity of it all. I had bird feeders spread around too. I also enjoy watching the birds and butterflies! Not the mosquitoes. I can definitely do without the mosquitoes.

Rosemary, marigolds, and lemon balm are all supposed to dissuade mosquitoes from making a home near you. Doesn't work. I have tons of rosemary (I love it), pots of marigolds, and a thriving lemon balm and I also have giant-sized, hungry mosquitoes.

But, mosquitoes are not the topic of this posting. My flower of hope is.

The red verbena is my flower of hope. And there is a good reason for that.

Last year, I bought a beautiful hanging basket that had trailing petunias and verbena in it. I loved it, but it was not cooperative with me. It did not thrive like most of my plants do. When I left to go to New Mexico with my son, it gave up the ghost entirely.

I took the pot down and put it aside. It was a pretty pot so I thought I might replant it. I didn't empty out the dead plants, but the pot was totally ignored. I did not water it or pay attention to it. Until, one day I looked at it, and lo and behold, there was a green plant and there were blooms!

I eventually pulled all of the dead plants out of the pot and started taking care of the little verbena that had come back from the dead. It flourished through the rest of the summer, but stayed pretty small.

Winter came. I took what was now a scrawny little plant with two little stalks of leaves up to the patio and diligently covered it along with other plants I tried to save every time the weather was going to be really cold. It didn't look good, but it didn't look dead, either!

When spring arrived, my little verbena was definitely not going to win a contest for most beautiful plant. But, it was alive. Two little stalks of alive! Hope! This feisty plant that refuses to die!

It has survived tremendous odds. It initially came back from the dead, surviving not having water in the hot Texas sun. It isn't a perennial. It really shouldn't have made it through the winter.  But it did!

I have a vested interest in keeping it alive now. It is my hope flower. It keeps on keeping on even when the odds are stacked against it. It reminds me of me. And I want to keep it alive and thriving ... and I want to stay alive and thriving too!

Still Living with Cancer!

I haven't updated my blog in a long time. How does that help provide hope? It doesn't  ... so here i am, hopefully able to provide hope to any of you who have been diagnosed with lung cancer or who have loved ones who have been diagnosed.

I was first diagnosed in October 2012. I have passed the critical one year milestone and will see the 3 year mark, God willing, in just a few more months. Trust me, i thank my Lord every single day for my life. So very many don't make it even a Year.

I love being alive and on this earth. Here to enjoy my family, friends, and dogs. But, God is good whether He decides to leave me here on earth or bring me home to Him. Talk about a win-win situation! i just can't lose!

While i am here, i try hard to live every day to the fullest. Fortunately,  i feel good, thanks to the immunotherapy i receive every two weeks. Barring bad news from the CT scans i had today, my tumors have remained stable since i began my immunotherapy clinical trial in 7/2013. Praise God!

So, what does living look like For this stage IV lung cancer survivor?

Dogs, dogs, dogs!

My dogs continue to dominate my life. They bring me such joy and give me so many reasons to want to live.

It is funny to post a snow picture since it is nearly 80 outside on this late March day. But, those two lovers of life get such joy out of the very limited snow we get here in Texas. Cotton also gets great joy in rolling in coyote poop. You can see how nicely she decorated herself in this picture!

The dogs and i meet our friends Linda and Louie (her precious Pom/Eskie mix) nearly every day to walk. We used to walk at least 3 miles every day. Lately,  we have cut that down to around two miles because we come back to a field to practice obedience/agility skills. 

Linda and I are fortunate enough to be taking agility lessons with Ed Scharringhausen at Run As One Agility. I have taken lots of classes over the last 6 years. Our classes with Ed make all others pale in comparison. We practice the skills he teaches us all week so that our dogs will be ready to move on when we return to class.

We also take classes with Pam White. Like Ed, she will analyze our runs from trials and is working hard with us to teach us distance and obedience skills. We are so fortunate to have two teachers who put so much into us and our dogs.

So, what's this agility about which I speak so fondly?

This is Barney and me running a jumpers agility course. The handler directs their dog around a numbered course. Speed and accuracy are required.

Here is another run from the March 2015 Run As One trial:

Here, the dog must navigate a number of different obstacles. Barney and I LOVE to play agility.  As you can see, it takes a great deal of energy. 

I have not been able to participate in lessons or trials like i did before i was diagnosed. My stamina is not as good and my pocketbook is much slimmer than it was. However, with the current 2 classes a week and, hopefully,  at least a trial a month, we are coming back!

Cotton doesn't play agility as much. She's an awesome agility dog, but she doesn't always care to participate. Like all sports, it is somewhat expensive. Since my funds are now so limited, i mostly train and trial with Barney, my boy who loves to please and loves to play agility.

As you watch the videos, remember it is a stage IV lung cancer survivor running those courses. Awesome, huh?

Just for fun, i will post a video of Cotton from the December  2014 trial. First, you will see Barney run the course as designed and then you will see Cotton. 

Hmmm, the formatting just went south... 

Here we go! Formatting restored!

Other Interests

My favorite thing to do is spend time with my dogs and friends who also love dogs. But, especially as the weather warms, i also enjoy container gadening, watching the birds, and photography. 

For the first time, i am trying herb gardening. I love my 3-tiered pot. Just bought two more from Amazon ... one for mom and another for me. I am going to put some tomatoes and strawberries in the new pot. Not sure what else... i can't wait to see how it goes! Fresh tomatoes and strawberries sounds heavenly though, huh?

I haven't taken many pictures lately nor have i had time to really spend watching my birds. Soon, the hummers will be back ... can't wait!! Will have to find some time to enjoy these activities. 

It is also nearly bluebonnet time here in Texas. I LOVE the bluebonnets. I combine 3 loves during the month or so they are out: my dogs, flowers, and photography!  Here's an example from last year:

Well, Robert is hungry. I need to end this and get him something to eat. 

Here's my final thought : if you have been diagnosed with lung cancer, even late stage lung cancer, do not give up! There is still life to be had. Grab it with gusto!